Originally Posted by
Dman
Okay, I realize that Michael Bay is an infinite genious, but I have to agree that the story was awful. I'm not even a fan of G1 and I'm saying this. There were parts that took too long, parts that didn't make sense, and points in the movie that simply weren't necessary.
What happens to Scorponok when the battle in the desert was over? Did he just disappear? Perhaps back into his trailer, because Michael said his scene was over, instead of disappearing for reasons driven by the plot IN THE MOVIE.
Why did Optimus choose not to go after Bumblebee when the Sec. 7 took him? His excuse was "he cannot harm the humans," and yet he had just released MikalARGH and Sam from a vehicle by lifting them up 30 feet and dropping them, tearing off the roof of a car and shattering glass, both of which had the potential to slice into someone and kill them? Would we get another rib-ticklingly hilarious "Oops, my bad" from Optimus if someone HAD died? Also, couldn't Jazz have disarmed everyone?
I'm just saying they COULD have done something, but once again, it must have been the director, the omni-being who obviously has total control of the world of Transformers, and not the plot, which should be controlling things, who told them they couldn't. It would have gone differently if the plot driving their actions, and these established "rules of conduct" had been used logically and not just where Michael Bay, the infinate genious that he is, hadn't picked and chosen where they should apply to.
Why do we need to take half an hour to get to know two stereotypical high schoolers? A scene like this doesn't have to take up so much time, and honestly, nobody cares that much about Shia's crush on some chick who Mike Bay only chose because "she had a nice stomach." Can't act, she's interesting up to the point that she has tits. Once you get used to seeing her, the movie slows down a lot.
It's a movie about an interstellar war between two factions of giant, shape-shifting robots. Why did I feel like I had been watching MTV for the first 30 minutes? Let me tell you that I don't share Mike's appreciation for "nice, flat stomachs." I can't stand thin chicks like her (or thin chicks in general, actually), so the 30 minutes got real old real fast. Then, once you figure out that they're just trying to use Megan to distract you from the fact that the story has basically halted, it makes you hate the world a little bit more.
And yes, Megan, I do think your character and her purpose for the entire first half of the movie was incredibly SHHHHHHHAAALLLLOOOOWWWWWWW, but since you probably can't read, I won't worry about your feelings too much.
If finding the glasses was so important, why did he take his sweet time trying to get Shia some ass? If he can't speak, aren't there other ways to communicate with Shia? Holographic displays inside of the car like he had in the comic adaption? Maybe he can pop a picture of the glasses in while Shia was driving, and that would cause Shia to swerve in surprise? It would make for a very funny scene. But come on, he's here goofing off while the Autobots are on their way.
Why do we not get to see the final fight between Megatron and Optimus? They went through all the trouble of designing Megatron as this cool Cybertronian jet (I was one of the people who HATED his gun form in the cartoon and hoped he'd be redesigned into something more self-sufficient), had such an immense budget to work with, and you tease the audience with such cool imagry and just NOT SHOW THE FINAL FIGHT? I guess they must have had to divert some of the money for CGI to, you know, pay to keep a porn star (Michaelargh) on the payroll and pay for all of those explosions. You don't hide the final brawl between the characters who you know were going to duke it out in the end.
And this is quite possibly the biggest problem I had with the entire movie: The backyard scene! That atrocious scene where the Autobots, completely out of character for a good 10 minutes of pointless physical gags, act like rampaging buffoons instead of the capable, dependable crack team sent out to track the Decepticons that we know them as for the rest of the movie. Hey, if they had access to the internet, wouldn't they know NOT to park in the middle of the back yard? Or maybe how to parallel park?
Yet another moment that got too goofy for the movie's own good, and didn't bother to follow its own established elements and rules.
But hey, you know, the explosions and pretty pictures were cool. That's all that matters. The flashy pictures. Story doesn't just take a backseat in this movie, they bind and gag it and lock it in the trunk.
Get a real writer!
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