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Thread: Just thinking about the rules

  1. #1
    Senior Member IMT Guyver's Avatar
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    Default Just thinking about the rules

    I was just thinking about the rules the ladys say thay have here are some for the men.

    This is all for fun

    The Man Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­

    At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down




    Finally, the guys' side of the story.

    (
    I must admit, it's pretty good.)
    We always hear"the rules "
    From the female side.




    Now here are the rules from the male side.




    These are our rules!
    Please note... these are all numbered "1 "
    ON PURPOSE!





    1. Men are NOT mind readers.


    1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
    You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
    We need it up, you need it down.
    You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Sunday sports: It's like the full moon
    or the changing of the tides.
    Let it be.

    1. Crying is blackmail.1. Ask for what you want.
    Let us be clear on this one:
    Subtle hints do not work!
    Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work!
    Just say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
    1. Come to us with a problemonly if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
    Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
    In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
    Don't ask us.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .

    1. You can either ask us to do somethin g
    Or tell us how you want it done.
    Not both.
    If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials....

    1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
    Peach, for exampl e, is a fruit, not
    A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
    We do that.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
    We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.... Really .

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball
    or
    gol f.1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.1. I am in shape. RoundIS a shape!

    1. Thank you for reading this.





    Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
    But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
    Pass this to as m any me n as you can -
    to give them a laugh.

    Pass this to as many women as you can -




    to give them a bigger laugh.

  2. #2
    Senior Member redqueenar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just thinking about the rules

    Quote Originally Posted by Beej View Post
    There are rules?! Dang. *scratches head, then slaps head upon revelation* well no wonder. (Good I don't play the game.)
    Is it wrong that I completely recognize all of that stuff and am pretty much okay with it? I suppose it comes of having so many male friends. The thing about commercials is true of me, as well... honestly, if I'm watching TV I'm watching TV...
    "When you make something no one hates, no one loves it." - Tibor Kalman

  3. #3
    Senior Member xAgonyxScenex's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just thinking about the rules

    haha most of this is true

  4. #4
    Administrator sora's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just thinking about the rules

    Quote Originally Posted by IMT Guyver View Post
    1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
    You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
    No prob because Japanese toilet seats automatically put it down.

  5. #5
    Senior Member IMT Guyver's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just thinking about the rules

    Quote Originally Posted by sora View Post
    No prob because Japanese toilet seats automatically put it down.
    Now all need is 1 in every house around the world

  6. #6
    Senior Member Duracell Bunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just thinking about the rules

    HA I enjoyed reading that.

  7. #7
    Senior Member raddimus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just thinking about the rules

    lmao,that was great.
    "Autobots, let's go dismantle us some decepticons; So transform and roll out!"
    http://www.myspace.com/raddimus33

  8. #8
    Senior Member Bumblebee1983's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just thinking about the rules

    Quote Originally Posted by sora View Post
    No prob because Japanese toilet seats automatically put it down.
    Yet another reason I should move to Japan!!!
    I'm a dog chasing cars. I don't know what I'd do if I caught one. I don't have plans. I just do things. I'm not a schemer.

    I use a knife because guns are too quick. Otherwise, you can't savor all the emotions. You know who people are in their last moments.

    I believe whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you... stranger.



  9. #9
    Senior Member xXRavenXx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just thinking about the rules

    Quote Originally Posted by sora View Post
    No prob because Japanese toilet seats automatically put it down.
    Don't Japanese women have urinal type toilets? You squat over them basically. See no problem there.

    But, yea Funny dude! I gotta say that's funny shit. I don't agree with all of it, but a bunch of it is true. I gotta say women can be less forgiving than a dude can. I would like to reference CHEATING at this point.

    I have never done, but have been cheated on. Chicks aren't as sensitive as we all think. I have a friend who is 15 years old (STFU she is a friend and neighbor when I'm in texas) She'll sit and make cell calls to all her friends (in front of me b/c after all I'm just a cool guy who has no interest in her personal life) about how to get to a guy. Talking about LOOK YOU LIVE DOWN THE STREET and basically trap the dude... then make up excuses about stuff 5 minutes after it's done claiming no knowledge of a "said" friend's previous acts. Scary ladies.. scary... But I always like a challenge .


    EDIT:

    After reading that post I would like to say I am not saying the 15 year old is the challenge... but you ladies who think you are being sneaky! I'm on to ya. And all those cell commercials about "call me at this time to see if I wanna bail or not"... Say that you ladies don't do that.... Like when you are on a date that isn't all nice and cool to your standards. Queen, B, Sora? I know 2 of you have significant others... but queen what about about you and the other ladies?
    Last edited by xXRavenXx; 02-18-2008 at 05:00 PM.
    The only thing worse than stupid people are stupid people who bother me...
    Bumblebee1983:
    I'm da bomb.
    xXRavenXx:
    I'm Da Bomb... you can be my igniter though **Humms Light My Fire by The Doors** lol
    Bumblebee1983:
    As for being your igniter.....umm.....okay.
    xXRavenXx:
    **Thrilled with BB Raven sings afternoon delight from Anchorman**

  10. #10
    Senior Member Bumblebee1983's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just thinking about the rules

    Quote Originally Posted by xXRavenXx View Post
    Don't Japanese women have urinal type toilets? You squat over them basically. See no problem there.

    But, yea Funny dude! I gotta say that's funny shit. I don't agree with all of it, but a bunch of it is true. I gotta say women can be less forgiving than a dude can. I would like to reference CHEATING at this point.

    I have never done, but have been cheated on. Chicks aren't as sensitive as we all think. I have a friend who is 15 years old (STFU she is a friend and neighbor when I'm in texas) She'll sit and make cell calls to all her friends (in front of me b/c after all I'm just a cool guy who has no interest in her personal life) about how to get to a guy. Talking about LOOK YOU LIVE DOWN THE STREET and basically trap the dude... then make up excuses about stuff 5 minutes after it's done claiming no knowledge of a "said" friend's previous acts. Scary ladies.. scary... But I always like a challenge .


    EDIT:

    After reading that post I would like to say I am not saying the 15 year old is the challenge... but you ladies who think you are being sneaky! I'm on to ya. And all those cell commercials about "call me at this time to see if I wanna bail or not"... Say that you ladies don't do that.... Like when you are on a date that isn't all nice and cool to your standards. Queen, B, Sora? I know 2 of you have significant others... but queen what about about you and the other ladies?
    I'm picky. You sure as hell know that.

    But other than that, I don't know what you're talking about. Nope, not a clue.

    *dials Raven behind boyfriend's back*

    *snicker*

    I is evil.
    I'm a dog chasing cars. I don't know what I'd do if I caught one. I don't have plans. I just do things. I'm not a schemer.

    I use a knife because guns are too quick. Otherwise, you can't savor all the emotions. You know who people are in their last moments.

    I believe whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you... stranger.



  11. #11
    Senior Member redqueenar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just thinking about the rules

    Quote Originally Posted by xXRavenXx View Post
    After reading that post I would like to say I am not saying the 15 year old is the challenge... but you ladies who think you are being sneaky! I'm on to ya. And all those cell commercials about "call me at this time to see if I wanna bail or not"... Say that you ladies don't do that.... Like when you are on a date that isn't all nice and cool to your standards. Queen, B, Sora? I know 2 of you have significant others... but queen what about about you and the other ladies?
    I wouldn't do that. I'm extremely self-sufficent and often too blunt. I reduced a very drunk asshole to tears once because he would not quit harassing my friend and I while we were shooting pool. So, uh yeah... relationships are tough for me! I don't date much now because I'm busy finishing my MA. I don't do blind dates ever and if I were meeting a guy who might not be to snuff, as it were, I'd make it a group thing, so neither of us would be bored or disappointed.

    That said, that rule about guys always having to solve the problem is great because casually mentioning that, for example, the car is making a noise or the sink is leaking is an excellent way of getting you out of our hair for a couple hours while you enjoy a visit to the hardware store. "I don't know how to plug in this DVD player" is also a good one.
    "When you make something no one hates, no one loves it." - Tibor Kalman

  12. #12
    Senior Member raddimus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just thinking about the rules

    lol you people are bad...
    "Autobots, let's go dismantle us some decepticons; So transform and roll out!"
    http://www.myspace.com/raddimus33

  13. #13
    Senior Member redqueenar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just thinking about the rules

    Quote Originally Posted by raddimus View Post
    lol you people are bad...
    Do I save any face at all by admitting that I really don't know how to plug in or fix that stuff myself? No? Damn!
    "When you make something no one hates, no one loves it." - Tibor Kalman

  14. #14
    Administrator sora's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just thinking about the rules

    Quote Originally Posted by xXRavenXx View Post
    Don't Japanese women have urinal type toilets? You squat over them basically. See no problem there.
    That's a relic of the past.

  15. #15
    Senior Member xAgonyxScenex's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just thinking about the rules

    Quote Originally Posted by sora View Post
    That's a relic of the past.
    lol

  16. #16
    Senior Member raddimus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just thinking about the rules

    yhea guys but this is comming from a woman in a society that wants it's toilets to squirt water up your bum to cleanse you rather than using toilet paper,lol.In the immortal words of the hick from thelma and louis.."Fucckkkk tthhhaaatttt...."
    "Autobots, let's go dismantle us some decepticons; So transform and roll out!"
    http://www.myspace.com/raddimus33

  17. #17
    Senior Member IMT Guyver's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just thinking about the rules

    Lets respect every one.

    I just put this up for fun and for every one to get a good old lough out of it.

    PLAY NICE..........

  18. #18
    Senior Member raddimus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just thinking about the rules

    everyone knows me...sorry there was no disrespect intended towards anyones gender nor society,I was just joking around...guess I shoulda put in a smiley face and jk.
    sorry...And I apoligise sora if this or anyone else this might of offended.
    "Autobots, let's go dismantle us some decepticons; So transform and roll out!"
    http://www.myspace.com/raddimus33

  19. #19
    Senior Member IMT Guyver's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just thinking about the rules

    Quote Originally Posted by raddimus View Post
    everyone knows me...sorry there was no disrespect intended towards anyones gender nor society,I was just joking around...guess I shoulda put in a smiley face and jk.
    sorry...And I apoligise sora if this or anyone else this might of offended.

    I Know you where joking RAD it's just becouse there are so many new members. Thay may not take it as a joke straight away.

    So i apoligise if it seemed that i was telling you off

  20. #20
    Senior Member raddimus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just thinking about the rules

    Oh no not at all I just wanted to apoligize if I offended anyone and completly respect you thinking about the new members man.I forget we get those sometimes.lol.
    "Autobots, let's go dismantle us some decepticons; So transform and roll out!"
    http://www.myspace.com/raddimus33

  21. #21
    Senior Member Xaniss's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just thinking about the rules

    All righty now after reading the guy 'rules' and I must say the TV one is true for me too..

    Anyway it reminded me of a female version that I've come across - totally used in good humour of course but now may I present:

    WORDS WOMEN USE

    FINE

    this is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

    FIVE MINUTES

    If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.


    NOTHING


    This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"


    GO AHEAD


    This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

    LOUD SIGH

    This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"


    THAT'S OKAY

    This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.


    THANKS

    A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.

    Oh, and before we forget ...

    "Whatever"

    ...it's a woman's way of saying *!#@ YOU
    Proceed on your way to oblivion ~ Unicron

    *~*~*~*~*

    Ironhide: What have you done to Gears, you monster?? You turned him...well...NICE

  22. #22
    Senior Member IMT Guyver's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just thinking about the rules

    Now that funny

  23. #23
    Senior Member raddimus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just thinking about the rules

    omg...I think the guys rules were a bit more logical and made a bit more sense. but I'm biased,lol.
    "Autobots, let's go dismantle us some decepticons; So transform and roll out!"
    http://www.myspace.com/raddimus33

  24. #24
    Senior Member Bumblebee1983's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just thinking about the rules

    Quote Originally Posted by raddimus View Post
    lol you people are bad...
    I know.

    And I use that to get what I want.


















    I'm a dog chasing cars. I don't know what I'd do if I caught one. I don't have plans. I just do things. I'm not a schemer.

    I use a knife because guns are too quick. Otherwise, you can't savor all the emotions. You know who people are in their last moments.

    I believe whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you... stranger.



  25. #25
    Senior Member raddimus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just thinking about the rules

    is or was there a picture there I'm missing bee?it's just a big whit space and a smiley face at the bottom.
    "Autobots, let's go dismantle us some decepticons; So transform and roll out!"
    http://www.myspace.com/raddimus33

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