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Thread: A short film of mine (please give criticism)

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    Default A short film of mine (please give criticism)

    So, I directed this short film as a school project for the media school im currently visiting. While Ive already directed several animated (short) movies, this was the first time Ive ever really directed a live-action movie and it was a hell lot of fun, alot more fun than directing an animated movie. The school im visiting is not the most professional one and they told me that this is one of the best movies ever made on that school, and while i believe that too, im personally not entirely happy with the final product, seeing how it lacks abit of production quality, but I think for the amout of equipment we had (which was very little) and seeing what the school usually produces, it turned out great.

    However, I really want some opinions, so here it is (Oh, and its german, so its subtitled):

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bf0l7T26iGM

    One thing that I think is really cool is that most of the score for this movie is made by TarbyRocks, my favorite musician, check him out, you can find him on Youtube!

    This was also the very first time I needed to do subtitles for the sake of translation, so im sorry if they go by too quick, I did not put alot of effort into those.

    Anyways, thanks for watching and some comments and constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated.

    Currently im working on another live-action movie which will have alot more production quality and will probably turn out to be far superior.

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    Senior Member Trailbreaker's Avatar
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    Default Re: A short film of mine (please give criticism)

    First off, for the equipment you had, the cinematography and atmosphere is fantastic. Well done!

    I have one question though, is this meant to be funny or serious? Because my one constructive criticism is that the premise sort of mislead me. "Imagine a world in which chess is equal to violent computer games and movies" sounds like something I wouldn't be able to take seriously in real life, so I was lead to believe that I was gonna see hilarious chess version of Mortal Kombat between two chess player out in the school football field or something like that. But what I got instead was the dark and serious, "teen goes on a shooting rampage after being pushed to the edge" story. Not that that's bad, it's a great story, but because it was over something like chess, it was hard for me to take seriously, especially considering it's a story about a school shooting, which should be taken very seriously.

    In short, "What if..." concept like this are fantastic, but be very careful when you tread into sensitive territory with it.

    Was that what you were looking for? Or were you just looking for technical criticism?

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    Default Re: A short film of mine (please give criticism)

    Quote Originally Posted by Trailbreaker View Post
    First off, for the equipment you had, the cinematography and atmosphere is fantastic. Well done!

    I have one question though, is this meant to be funny or serious? Because my one constructive criticism is that the premise sort of mislead me. "Imagine a world in which chess is equal to violent computer games and movies" sounds like something I wouldn't be able to take seriously in real life, so I was lead to believe that I was gonna see hilarious chess version of Mortal Kombat between two chess player out in the school football field or something like that. But what I got instead was the dark and serious, "teen goes on a shooting rampage after being pushed to the edge" story. Not that that's bad, it's a great story, but because it was over something like chess, it was hard for me to take seriously, especially considering it's a story about a school shooting, which should be taken very seriously.

    In short, "What if..." concept like this are fantastic, but be very careful when you tread into sensitive territory with it.

    Was that what you were looking for? Or were you just looking for technical criticism?
    Im looking for all sorts of criticism. First of all, thanks

    And yes, this movie is to be taken a 100% seriously. In this movie, chess is used as an analogy for violent computer games (which in my country was and still is argued as the source of all evil), mostly because I want to get my point across that computer games are just as harmless as chess - other factors factor into a school shooting or a person breaking down. At the same time, this movie is more targeted towards those that dont know computer games, so I used chess as an analogy because chess is something they are most likely familiar with.

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    Senior Member Trailbreaker's Avatar
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    Default Re: A short film of mine (please give criticism)

    Quote Originally Posted by Crainy View Post
    Im looking for all sorts of criticism. First of all, thanks

    And yes, this movie is to be taken a 100% seriously. In this movie, chess is used as an analogy for violent computer games (which in my country was and still is argued as the source of all evil), mostly because I want to get my point across that computer games are just as harmless as chess - other factors factor into a school shooting or a person breaking down. At the same time, this movie is more targeted towards those that dont know computer games, so I used chess as an analogy because chess is something they are most likely familiar with.
    Okay, thank you. The analogy thing cleared things up a lot.

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    Default Re: A short film of mine (please give criticism)

    Quote Originally Posted by Trailbreaker View Post
    Okay, thank you. The analogy thing cleared things up a lot.
    Now that you mention it, ill probably should put that into the video description.

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    Senior Member Flyingheart's Avatar
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    Touchy subject.. But it was alright.. the first girl talking about the horrors that took place needs to get more acting lessons or should have done her homework better doing some research if she's serious about acting..
    I hope her acting skills in this video wont bite her back later in the future..

    I personally would have added more background music to it, edit the colors in screen a bit and would film from different angles but that's just personal taste, the audio recording with the bully at the top of the stairs was poor quality and also when the guy gets his backpack in the beginning to much background noise.
    But overall well done.
    When i Transform i release rockets with nanobot-viruses that destroys you from within... the fuel inside you will turn into acid, metal will melt instantly...
    I'm a decepticon and my name is _____ All Hail Megatron!

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    Senior Member Flyingheart's Avatar
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    When i mean touchy.. I mean really touchy.. It just happened today in the US again :-/ just saw on the news.. I advise you to choose a lighter subject next time..
    When i Transform i release rockets with nanobot-viruses that destroys you from within... the fuel inside you will turn into acid, metal will melt instantly...
    I'm a decepticon and my name is _____ All Hail Megatron!

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    Senior Member Flyingheart's Avatar
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    You said you had much fun making this so i guess your born to capture and create more fun and exciting things.
    When i Transform i release rockets with nanobot-viruses that destroys you from within... the fuel inside you will turn into acid, metal will melt instantly...
    I'm a decepticon and my name is _____ All Hail Megatron!

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    Default Re: A short film of mine (please give criticism)

    Quote Originally Posted by Flyingheart View Post
    When i mean touchy.. I mean really touchy.. It just happened today in the US again :-/ just saw on the news.. I advise you to choose a lighter subject next time..
    No. I always try to bring messages across with my movies. Movies are art and can and should be used as education on some level.

    And for the acting: Im visiting a media school, not a film school. For all of them, it was pretty much the first time they needed to act.

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    Senior Member Flyingheart's Avatar
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    Oh ok, yeah your right about that actually just do what inspires you bro.
    When i Transform i release rockets with nanobot-viruses that destroys you from within... the fuel inside you will turn into acid, metal will melt instantly...
    I'm a decepticon and my name is _____ All Hail Megatron!

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