Just thinking about the rules

[IMT Guyver]

I was just thinking about the rules the ladys say thay have here are some for the men.

This is all for fun:D


The Man Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down





Finally, the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear"the rules "
From the female side.





Now here are the rules from the male side.




These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!





1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports: It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problemonly if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .

1. You can either ask us to do somethin g
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials....

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for exampl e, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball
orgol f.1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.1. I am in shape. RoundIS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.





Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Pass this to as m any me n as you can -
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -





to give them a bigger laugh.

[redqueenar]

There are rules?! Dang. *scratches head, then slaps head upon revelation* well no wonder. (Good I don't play the game.)

Is it wrong that I completely recognize all of that stuff and am pretty much okay with it? :rolleyes: I suppose it comes of having so many male friends. The thing about commercials is true of me, as well... honestly, if I'm watching TV I'm watching TV...

[xAgonyxScenex]

haha most of this is true

[sora]

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
No prob because Japanese toilet seats automatically put it down. :cool:

[IMT Guyver]

No prob because Japanese toilet seats automatically put it down. :cool:

Now all need is 1 in every house around the world:D

[Duracell Bunny]

HA I enjoyed reading that. :)

[raddimus]

lmao,that was great.

[Bumblebee1983]

No prob because Japanese toilet seats automatically put it down. :cool:

Yet another reason I should move to Japan!!! :D

[xXRavenXx]

No prob because Japanese toilet seats automatically put it down. :cool:

Don't Japanese women have urinal type toilets? You squat over them basically. See no problem there.

But, yea Funny dude! I gotta say that's funny shit. I don't agree with all of it, but a bunch of it is true. I gotta say women can be less forgiving than a dude can. I would like to reference CHEATING at this point.

I have never done, but have been cheated on. Chicks aren't as sensitive as we all think. I have a friend who is 15 years old (STFU she is a friend and neighbor when I'm in texas) She'll sit and make cell calls to all her friends (in front of me b/c after all I'm just a cool guy who has no interest in her personal life) about how to get to a guy. Talking about LOOK YOU LIVE DOWN THE STREET and basically trap the dude... then make up excuses about stuff 5 minutes after it's done claiming no knowledge of a "said" friend's previous acts. Scary ladies.. scary... But I always like a challenge :D.


EDIT:

After reading that post I would like to say I am not saying the 15 year old is the challenge... but you ladies who think you are being sneaky! I'm on to ya. And all those cell commercials about "call me at this time to see if I wanna bail or not"... Say that you ladies don't do that.... Like when you are on a date that isn't all nice and cool to your standards. Queen, B, Sora? I know 2 of you have significant others... but queen what about about you and the other ladies?

[Bumblebee1983]

Don't Japanese women have urinal type toilets? You squat over them basically. See no problem there.

But, yea Funny dude! I gotta say that's funny shit. I don't agree with all of it, but a bunch of it is true. I gotta say women can be less forgiving than a dude can. I would like to reference CHEATING at this point.

I have never done, but have been cheated on. Chicks aren't as sensitive as we all think. I have a friend who is 15 years old (STFU she is a friend and neighbor when I'm in texas) She'll sit and make cell calls to all her friends (in front of me b/c after all I'm just a cool guy who has no interest in her personal life) about how to get to a guy. Talking about LOOK YOU LIVE DOWN THE STREET and basically trap the dude... then make up excuses about stuff 5 minutes after it's done claiming no knowledge of a "said" friend's previous acts. Scary ladies.. scary... But I always like a challenge :D.


EDIT:

After reading that post I would like to say I am not saying the 15 year old is the challenge... but you ladies who think you are being sneaky! I'm on to ya. And all those cell commercials about "call me at this time to see if I wanna bail or not"... Say that you ladies don't do that.... Like when you are on a date that isn't all nice and cool to your standards. Queen, B, Sora? I know 2 of you have significant others... but queen what about about you and the other ladies?

I'm picky. You sure as hell know that.

But other than that, I don't know what you're talking about. Nope, not a clue.

*dials Raven behind boyfriend's back*

*snicker*

I is evil. :cool:

[redqueenar]

:D

After reading that post I would like to say I am not saying the 15 year old is the challenge... but you ladies who think you are being sneaky! I'm on to ya. And all those cell commercials about "call me at this time to see if I wanna bail or not"... Say that you ladies don't do that.... Like when you are on a date that isn't all nice and cool to your standards. Queen, B, Sora? I know 2 of you have significant others... but queen what about about you and the other ladies?

I wouldn't do that. I'm extremely self-sufficent and often too blunt. I reduced a very drunk asshole to tears once because he would not quit harassing my friend and I while we were shooting pool. So, uh yeah... relationships are tough for me! I don't date much now because I'm busy finishing my MA. I don't do blind dates ever and if I were meeting a guy who might not be to snuff, as it were, I'd make it a group thing, so neither of us would be bored or disappointed.

That said, that rule about guys always having to solve the problem is great because casually mentioning that, for example, the car is making a noise or the sink is leaking is an excellent way of getting you out of our hair for a couple hours while you enjoy a visit to the hardware store. :rolleyes: "I don't know how to plug in this DVD player" is also a good one. :D

[raddimus]

lol you people are bad:D...

[redqueenar]

lol you people are bad:D...

Do I save any face at all by admitting that I really don't know how to plug in or fix that stuff myself? No? Damn! :p

[sora]

Don't Japanese women have urinal type toilets? You squat over them basically. See no problem there.
That's a relic of the past. :D

[xAgonyxScenex]

That's a relic of the past. :D

lol

[raddimus]

yhea guys but this is comming from a woman in a society that wants it's toilets to squirt water up your bum to cleanse you rather than using toilet paper,lol.In the immortal words of the hick from thelma and louis.."Fucckkkk tthhhaaatttt...."

[IMT Guyver]

Lets respect every one:D.

I just put this up for fun and for every one to get a good old lough out of it.

PLAY NICE..........

[raddimus]

everyone knows me...sorry there was no disrespect intended towards anyones gender nor society,I was just joking around...guess I shoulda put in a smiley face and jk.
sorry...And I apoligise sora if this or anyone else this might of offended.

[IMT Guyver]

everyone knows me...sorry there was no disrespect intended towards anyones gender nor society,I was just joking around...guess I shoulda put in a smiley face and jk.
sorry...And I apoligise sora if this or anyone else this might of offended.


I Know you where joking RAD it's just becouse there are so many new members. Thay may not take it as a joke straight away.

So i apoligise if it seemed that i was telling you off:D

[raddimus]

Oh no not at all I just wanted to apoligize if I offended anyone and completly respect you thinking about the new members man.I forget we get those sometimes.lol.:D

[Xaniss]

All righty now after reading the guy 'rules' and I must say the TV one is true for me too..

Anyway it reminded me of a female version that I've come across - totally used in good humour of course but now may I present:

WORDS WOMEN USE :D

FINE

this is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES

If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

NOTHING

This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"

GO AHEAD

This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

LOUD SIGH

This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

THAT'S OKAY

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS

A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.

Oh, and before we forget ...

"Whatever"

...it's a woman's way of saying *!#@ YOU

[IMT Guyver]

Now that funnyhttp://bestsmileys.com/lol/4.gif

[raddimus]

omg...I think the guys rules were a bit more logical and made a bit more sense. but I'm biased,lol.:D

[Bumblebee1983]

lol you people are bad:D...

I know.

And I use that to get what I want.


















:D

[raddimus]

is or was there a picture there I'm missing bee?it's just a big whit space and a smiley face at the bottom.

[Bumblebee1983]

is or was there a picture there I'm missing bee?it's just a big whit space and a smiley face at the bottom.

No, no picture.

[sora]

yhea guys but this is comming from a woman in a society that wants it's toilets to squirt water up your bum to cleanse you rather than using toilet paper,lol.In the immortal words of the hick from thelma and louis.."Fucckkkk tthhhaaatttt...."Never mind. No offense taken. ;)
Beware, our toilets shoot your a** with warm water jets!

[Bumblebee1983]

Never mind. No offense taken. ;)
Beware, our toilets shoot your a** with warm water jets!

One of my coworkers went to Japan some years back, and she said she was afraid to flush the toilet because there were so many damn buttons!

But she eventually figured it out.

[sora]

One of my coworkers went to Japan some years back, and she said she was afraid to flush the toilet because there were so many damn buttons!

But she eventually figured it out.
That's the way we do. :D
It's sure to be a nice gag. "Damn Japanese, there're too many buttons!"

[Bumblebee1983]

That's the way we do. :D
It's sure to be a nice gag. "Damn Japanese, there're too many buttons!"

She said she pushed one button....and she didn't like what it did. :eek:

[raddimus]

lmao,yhea I'll stick to a regular toilet.but it's great japan thought of a toilet for women.just as long as theres a regular one for the guys...hey do guys in japan use these toilets that shoot water too?or is it a chick thing,sora?

[xAgonyxScenex]

She said she pushed one button....and she didn't like what it did. :eek:

i was about to ask if it shot water up her butt...then i went over to page 3...so never mind lol

[raddimus]

lmao...beware of japanese toilets my friend,they weren't made for our kind,lol.:D

[sora]

She said she pushed one button....and she didn't like what it did. :eek:
I can imagine it. :p


lmao,yhea I'll stick to a regular toilet.but it's great japan thought of a toilet for women.just as long as theres a regular one for the guys...hey do guys in japan use these toilets that shoot water too?or is it a chick thing,sora?
Most of guys love it. (Japanese are really anal about being clean.) My husband says he can't live without that water jets.
And you'd be surprised. 40% of Japanese guys sit down to urinate nowadays! :eek:

[xAgonyxScenex]

I can imagine it. :p


Most of guys love it. (Japanese are really anal about being clean.) My husband says he can't live without that water jets.
And you'd be surprised. 40% of Japanese guys sit down to urinate nowadays! :eek:

amazing quote....love the irony is that statement haha

sit down to pee?!?!?! 40%? sora....did you just grab a number from your ass? ;)

I dunno if I buy that haha

[r-type]

:eek::eek:

It's bidet (http://www.poopreport.com/Images/Consumer/Content/Bidet/Images/colon_bidet.jpg) madness in here!!!

[raddimus]

really? I don't know maby it's cuz I was molested as a boy.but I couldn't imagine enjoying anything being shot up my bum.but to his or hers their own.so alot of guys sit down and pee their huh.I always thought of japanese men as a chovinistic manly type of guys in general.but I must admit I don't have to many japanese friends.I think this toilet thing just gave me a culture shock.:D

[sora]

40%? sora....did you just grab a number from your ass? ;)
Google it. You'll realize. :D


I always thought of japanese men as a chovinistic manly type of guys in general.Yes! They'd been chauvinistic as hell, but now their sons are going to be girlie.

[raddimus]

lol,you said it I didn't.:D

[xAgonyxScenex]

Google it. You'll realize. :D

Yes! They'd been chauvinistic as hell, but now their sons are going to be girlie.

haha wow...i cant believe I just googled that...and it looks like your right

As for guys growing up girlie....thats pretty much every where....more metrosexuals these days then ever before.

[raddimus]

yup,but not everywhere.

[r-type]

As for guys growing up girlie....thats pretty much every where....more metrosexuals these days then ever before. Now now, its bad form talking about theGreat in a thread he hasn't posted in....:D

[xAgonyxScenex]

Now now, its bad form talking about theGreat in a thread he hasn't posted in....:D

eh ooooh!

[IMT Guyver]

Now now, its bad form talking about theGreat in a thread he hasn't posted in....:D

sorry but thats funny. *runs away and puts on Yowie Suit and hide's in park lands*

[Beej]

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
"The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you !

[Bumblebee1983]

really? I don't know maby it's cuz I was molested as a boy.but I couldn't imagine enjoying anything being shot up my bum.but to his or hers their own.so alot of guys sit down and pee their huh.I always thought of japanese men as a chovinistic manly type of guys in general.but I must admit I don't have to many japanese friends.I think this toilet thing just gave me a culture shock.:D

Okay...uhh....TMI.

I feel sick all of a sudden....:(

[Bumblebee1983]

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
"The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you !

GOOD ONE!

*high five*

:D

[Beej]

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
Neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relat ives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."


A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:0 0 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go andsee why his wife hadn' t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. Written on the paper was: It is 5:00 AM. Wake up. (Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.)


'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.' --Mark - age 6
'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.' --Jessica - age 8

[Devastator]

^lol

She could have shook him or kicked him or something. ;) :D

[Bumblebee1983]

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
Neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relat ives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."


A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:0 0 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go andsee why his wife hadn' t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. Written on the paper was: It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.

(Men are not equipped for these k inds of contests.)

HYSTERICAL!!!

[redqueenar]

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
"The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you !

Heh, nice. Reminds me of that joke about how God tells Adam, "Well, the good news is that I'm giving you a brain and a penis and they're both fantastic, but the bad news is that you can't use them both at the same time..."